


Santa can you hear me?

by tisktisk (PornyZiallFeels)



Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... [6]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Lists, Kid Fic, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5304299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PornyZiallFeels/pseuds/tisktisk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 6 years of mariage</p>
            </blockquote>





	Santa can you hear me?

Liam let the car door fall shut as he turned to face the house he used to call home, fiddling with his keys to stall for time before finally ducking into the backseat for the schoolbook Benji had left at the hotel he was staying at, just until he found a more permeant residence.

For six years he’d lived here with his husband, raising their son and they were happy.

He and Harry were a tale of true love, having met when they were just school boys, best mates since they were twelve, growing up together experiencing all their firsts until one day they stopped looking at each other platonically. They started dating officially in university and married young straight out of school at only twenty-two without any regrets. Liam had always known Harry was it for him, the one true love of his life it had just taken a couple horribly failed relationships for him to really see it.

They had Benji soon after through a surrogate because Harry just couldn’t wait to be a dad, to start their family and Liam had been all too happy to oblige—he lived for making Harry smile and sparkle.

But somewhere along the way Harry stopped smiling, their home that was once filled with singing and laughter was now full of petty arguments and cold silences, where they once couldn’t get enough of one another, unable to keep their hands off each other turned into nights where they’d barely look at each other, their bedroom lacking all traces of warmth or intimacy. Even the simple act of kissing had seemed robotic during the last few months before they finally decided to separate. Liam packing his bags and moving into a hotel in town.

Honestly the only thing that kept them tied together at this point was their son. They both loved Benji so much, would do anything for him—including acting civil around him. They knew he was six and a very observant child, he was well aware that things had changed and after the first month they stopped telling him that Liam was on an extended business trip, sat him down and told him that daddy had moved out and that he would be spending his weekends with him.

Liam would’ve fought harder for Benji to stay with him during the week but it just made more sense for him to stay with Harry who didn’t travel for work—worked from home in fact unlike Liam.

So it was decided that Harry would keep the house, the kid, and the dog and Liam would start eating out more.

As the holidays approach, their first Christmas apart Liam and Harry had started tot haw towards one another no longer speaking in grunts and monosyllabic answers, they could actually hold a civil conversation as they waited for Benji to gather his things for his weekend with daddy. Harry had even started inviting Liam in from the cold to wait instead of staying out on the porch.

Truth be told Liam wished he was still angry, it was better than the unbearable pain he feels having to sit there and awkwardly ask Harry how he’s been, making stale small talk while they wait because it shouldn’t be this way—he should already know what’s going on in Harry’s life, they should be able to read each other and because they were in love damnit. He was still so fucking in love with Harry even through all their shit underneath it all he still loved him—always has and he wished he knew how to make things right but it was Harry who’d decided Liam should leave, it’s been Harry who gave up on them. Liam didn’t even know where to start.

Taking a deep breath, he took the stairs of the porch up to the door and with a final sigh raised his hand to knock, biting his lip because it always pained him that he had to knock now.  When there’s no answer he tries the doorbell twice and still gets nothing. Reaching for the doorknob on a whim he’s surprised when it turns easily in his hand and pushes the door open.

Peeking his head inside he announces his presence and still gets nothing. He can faintly hear a tv on upstairs, so he’s pretty sure they’re home and ventures into the house, shutting the door softly behind him. He calls out Harry’s name as he moves through the house going past the stairs towards the kitchen where he finds his husband sat at the table, head bowed over as he reads something.

“Haz?” He whispers, moving slowly so as not to startle the other man. But it’s all for nothing as Harry doesn’t even flinch, just lets out a series of sniffles that alert Liam to the fact that he’s crying. “What is it babe?” He asked in a soft voice, always feeling a bit helpless when Harry cried.

“We really fucked up Lee.”

“What do you mean?”

“With Benji.” Harry clarified finally looking up from what he was reading so that Liam could see that there were indeed tears in his eyes, “we thought we’d handled this right, that separating would be better than what we were living in but…”

“What are you on about Harry.” Liam asked again, growing worried.

“Here.” He said, holding the slightly rumbled sheet of paper out to him without explanation. “Read this.”

Taking the paper from Harry’s hands Liam squinted down at the shaky chicken scratch of a child’s handwriting and began to read:

_Dear Santa,_

_Hi its me Benji! I kno its been a while a hole year even ha ha how r u? I have been good relly relly good this year I ate all my veggies without dad haven to tell me the story bout the troll who eats kids who dont eat der veggies (mostly becuz it takes him FOREVER to tell n veggies are even wurss cold) n I always clean up my toys after I am done playen n i havent even broken any of daddy’s building models n blamed Loki! So I think I have been good enuff to have my chrissmas wish come true yeah?_

_I know last year i asked for things like an electric hellacoptr, an ipad n for it to snow but this year I am asken for sumthin even MORE IMPORTANT. This year Santa all I want is for my daddies to be happy, for them to love each other again._

_I don’t kno if u kno my daddies, do u member them from when they was my age n still wrote 2 u? Well they r 2 of the greatest daddies ever, relly they always watch movies n play games with me! Daddy gives me piggyback rides all the time n plays superhero games with me n my dad always bakes me cakes on my birthday n knos all my favorit foods n is teachen me how to play the kazoo!_

_We used to have so much fun the 3 of us singen n dancen n laffen at dad’s jokes (even tho they are not that funny but daddy made me pinky swear not 2 tell him) its almost chrissmas but it doesnt relly feel like it this year becuz daddy is liven at the hotel n we didnt go riden around looken at the lights people put on their houses or go ice skaten…dad is not very good n nearly always almost brains himself on the ice but daddy is always der to save him like batman n dad always rewards him with a kiss—my daddies ALWAYS used to be kissing all the time—I used to think it was gross becuz they r daddies but now I don’t think I would mind seein them kiss becuz that wood mean they still cared!_

_For a while before daddy moved out him n dad were always shouten at each other n slammen doors it was teribull but now they sit with lots of space between them n hardly even talk to each other which I think is even wurss!_

_My daddies used to look at each other the way they do in Disney movies which I always thought was funny but now I know that they looked like that becuz they were in love. They dont look at each other at all anymore._

_Daddy thinks I don’t hear him when he cries some nights when I stay over but I do and he talks to himself or maybe god asken for help, for whoever he is talking 2 2 bring dad back to him. I wish I culd help him, becuz Im sure dad feels the same way they are just being silly, making each other sad by being apart for no reason!_

_So thats my chrissmas wish santa, the only thing I want this year is for you to help my daddy get his hazza back (thats what he calls dad) to make him look at daddy like ariel does prince eric in the little mermaid or the way Olaf looks when he dreams of summer… I just want us to be a family again._

_Love always,_

_Benjamin Geoffrey Styles-Payne xx_

“Oh god.” Liam moaned, letting the letter fall to the table. “I knew he was smart for his age but not this—I didn’t think he was this perceptive.”

Harry shook his head in agreement. “Me either, what are we doing Liam? “

“I don’t know.” He admitted, setting both his hands flat on the table, hunching over slightly in an attempt not to collapse.

“Is it true what he said about you crying and praying.” Harry asked in a small voice and it was all Liam could do not to shake some sense into him because of course it was true he loved him, being apart was killing him but instead he pointed an accusing finger in the other man’s face.

“You’re the one who wanted to separate instead of working through this, whatever this is. I never wanted to leave.”

“Because we _tried_ Liam, I mean that right there you calling the situation a _this_ —that’s part of the bloody problem!” Harry hissed, arms waving around as he spoke.

Liam crossed his arms over his chest. “What would you like me to call it then?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well whatever you want to call it, we never really tried to work on it.”

“Liam we were communicating in insults, snapping at one another at the drop of a hat I couldn’t stand it, I hated being that way with you.”

“I hated it too, god Haz where did we go wrong…how—how did we end up here?”

“I don’t know, I mean I think it started after your last promotion you were never home always at the office working late or off traveling for work and I know it wasn’t your fault you had no control but I missed you, it was hard doing it all on my own and when you finally did come home you’d just swoop in and play cool dad like nothing even happened. You got to just have tickle fights or teach him how to play Fifa while I had to do all the rest. I think I was just resentful that I was basically raising our son all on my own doing all the hard stuff like cooking and cleaning and disciplining and going to parent meetings at school and all you did was play with him like a big brother or a bosom buddy—just once I wanted to be the fun dad, I just needed your help.”

“Haz I—” Liam started but Harry just continued speaking.

“And then there was also the fact that every time I even mentioned having another child you went white as a ghost and suddenly lost your tongue. You know I’ve always wanted a big family you knew this before you married me you knew the deal before you said ‘I do’ and yet you didn’t seem to want more kids.”

“Babe I do, I’d love nothing more than to have another little boy with your eyes or perhaps a baby girl with your dimple and curls hell if you want we can have enough kids to start a bloody footie team but I’ve been hesitant for the exact reasons you listed. I’m always working, never around to lend a hand or actually find out what’s going on in my son’s life. I just wanted to wait until I’d secured my position at the firm so that things could mellow out a bit and I could even start working from home more if I wanted to. I just wanted a little security for us before expanding our brood.

“God we’re quite the pair aren’t we?” Harry said, letting out a self-deprecating laugh. “Here I thought you were working all those hours to avoid us when you were actually doing it all for us—for me.”

“Haz, I love you, I never stopped loving you I don’t think I could and I sure as hell don’t want to ever find out, you’re not only my husband but my best friend my better half—I don’t function right without you. All our mates have been saying so, complaining about me moping about and telling me to get my head out of my arse.”

Harry snorted. “Good ol’ Louis.” Liam nodded with a little chuckle of his own.

“Even Niall threatened to put an Irish hex on me man bits if I didn’t do something.”

“Babe you know there’s no such thing as an Irish hex yeah?”

Liam shrugged. “I didn’t want to chance it, besides it’s not like I didn’t want you back, I just honestly didn’t know how… _you_ were the one who tossed me out.”

“Heyyy I didn’t—”

“You basically did, took my house, my kid, and me dog.” Harry grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘whatever’ making Liam grin, taking the time to really look at his husband, drinking him in after so many months apart. He was gorgeous always had been but now even more so because he was smiling again.

With his eyes still trained on Harry’s mouth Liam cleared his throat. “Benji got one thing right for sure we _were_ always kissing; I just really want to kiss you.”

Harry tilted his head, making a thoughtful noise before his smile widened further. “Then what’re you waiting for?” He challenged crooking one finger to beckon the other man over to him.

Liam didn’t have to be told twice, conquering the few feet between them to grip the back of Harry’s head, basking in the familiarity of his fingers getting tangled in soft curls as he brought their lips together sinking into the familiar pleasure that always felt like home.

They’d barely gotten started when a little voice cried out. “GROSS!” And they drew apart to see their son standing in the doorway the happy expression on his face belying his words.

“Hey you, get over here.” Liam barked playfully reaching out to tug the little boy to them where they both claimed a cheek to kiss.

“Ew, no stop” the little boy protested, wiping the nonexistent slobber from his cheeks. “yuck.”

“So it looks like Christmas came a little early this year huh champ?”

Pausing in his rubbing he stared wide-eyed at his parents taking in how close they were standing with their arms wrapped around the other’s waist. “You mean…”

Liam nodded. “Seems Santa got your letter.”

“Really??? Does that mean no more hotel, that daddy’s coming home?” Both he and Liam turned their hopeful gazes towards Harry who threw his arms up helplessly as if he didn’t have a choice.

“Of course.” He told them moving behind the counter to make them all hot chocolates. “And I was thinking maybe we could all go down to the skating rink…I really think I’ve been getting better.” Benji opened his mouth to protest but Liam held a finger up to his lips to hush him and the child just grinned deciding to let his dad have his delusions.

**Author's Note:**

> This actually made me a bit teary while writing it...thank god for the happy ending though!


End file.
